Restrictions by Nevena Martinović

The majority of our lives we spend with ourselves. We process not only internal dialogues but also all our conversations and relationships with other people, as well as our entire experience of the outside world. Statistically, a very small part of everything that happens within our mind we communicate externally, maybe only 10% of the total (if that much). Why is it so?

First and foremost – we do not know how to communicate.

We have learned the language, the meaning of words, but not what it is that gives meaning to them, how they are shaped and modeled in order for the us, as authentic beings, to say the right thing. What we say has different interpretations as our state, thoughts, and energy influence the words we speak. If we are angry or furious, the same sentence will not have the same meaning if we are happy or indifferent. We do not know how to clearly connect our internal dialogues with the people around us, we assume that we will not be understood, that the information will be misinterpreted. Most often, we cannot clarify everything we think, see, and feel leading to difficulties when we try express ourselves clearly through words. Additionally, we are not usually brought up in a way to appreciate communication, nor what we learn through our educational system. We are taught to remember words, how to compose a sentence, how to write a composition, how to draw a summary, retell something, but not to provide words with their meaning and connect with them through emotions and our spirit. The words themselves, everything we say or write and share, are a permanent part of the time behind and between us. That is what we have to carry and pass on.

Furthermore, we know very little about ourselves. We are usually directed to get to know that wonderful world around us, but not in us, and learning it comes mainly through experiences, or in later years when we already have baggage behind us from which we can observe ourselves and learn from. In addition, it is not easy to get to know ourselves, because there are already too many definitions of people around us, set social norms, a determined right and wrong, desirable patterns, ongoing traditions, ways of thinking, interpretation of procedures, and even laws. If we do not become aware of ourselves, our life is moving between all that. Travelling along the routes that have already been created, where the navigation is set, the traffic lights are working and the yellow route is properly marked. Sounds ok, right? Again, this is still just a place where – we can’t communicate (go back to point 1 for an explanation). If we become at least a little aware of ourselves, we come to the realization that not only is life a matter of choice from the starting defined assumptions, but that we are also the ones who actively initiate and create our life choices every day. This is the point where we begin to take care of what we say, when we get to know words in a different way and when we realize that they are the ones that can make many things easier or harder for us. Once we are in the role of a sanctified man, we know that we are the absolute owners and creators of our life. That our 100% responsibility is for our actions, thoughts, emotions, but also for our experiences. It is not a place where we are perfect, ideal, divine, it is a place where we are just people, ordinary people, who have the opportunity to have their moment in the cosmos. Alone and responsible for themselves. Then everything that happens around us and in us, we realize, is equally important, and mastering this will give us the opportunity to deliver the meaning clearly. In the end, each one of us is at a different point of development, which is not final, and at whichever point we are in, don’t underestimate it.

Third, fears govern our experiences. Fear is one of the main themes that runs through all segments of our lives. We fear for our neighbors, we fear for work, for the future, for time, money, for our actions and of others… In almost all relationships that are crucial to us, there is always a dose of fear. A small dose of fear in the end is normal, it is human and we need it to keeps us awake and careful. But if the dose is increased, we begin to resist things, situations, relationships and people in our lives, we get stuck. Also, the increased presence of fears shows that we believe very little in ourselves, it indicates immaturity and low self-confidence.

And fourth, you need to be brave and deliver your authenticity. Here we come to a very important topic. Acceptance. In order to be able to successfully communicate ourselves, we need to accept all the thoughts, emotions, energies that happen in us, how they arise, why, what initiates their appearance, what develops them, calms them, nurtures them… it is necessary to know ourselves (point two). When we accept, we do not resist the flow of life, because we realize that we are an integral part of the process which happens outside of us. If they are favorable we know we are rewarded, if they are unfavorable we know we have something we still have to learn or master. But in no case should we resist. We must accept. And when we accept, then we change ourselves, because then our eyes are directed inwards.

Restrictions. There are so many of them. But beauty can be found within them too. They drag us to push the boundaries of our personality. In fact, they are like the windows in a mountain house. They sew us, but they also narrow down that infinite view and unique experience of nature.

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